we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
