i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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