you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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