so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
