Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
