Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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