Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize