Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
