I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
