If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
