Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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