69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
