We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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