I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize