Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
