Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i will never coherently bang her
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
