you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
