I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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