Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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