i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
