He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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