i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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