Kiss
Puke
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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