I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
