So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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