shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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