How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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