apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize