I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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