Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
