the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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