Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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