if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
