So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it's like heaven, but drunker
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
