I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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