I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
