I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
