her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
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She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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