you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
