She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
