I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
