he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
