so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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