I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
