Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
