i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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