go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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