I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My vagina is very pro this idea
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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