Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
