I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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