sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That accounts for only three of the penises
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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