I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
