Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
