i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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