can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
