Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
