3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
