Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
