turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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