? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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